Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
