Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
