my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
