a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
