I bet he comes in French.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
