Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
