All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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