Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
