Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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