I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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