New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
