I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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