Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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