I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
