i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
