you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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