Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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