I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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