I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
