In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
