I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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