You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The best revenge is premature balding
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
