Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
