Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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