Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
