you guys were way drunker than both of me
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
