He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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