He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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