Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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