If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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