I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
