She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
