On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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