So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The beers last night were like the tears from god
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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