he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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