There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
