i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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