I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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