So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
