DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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