covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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