Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
