Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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