You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
