You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
