The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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