Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i think i have herpe
just one?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
