Kiss
Puke
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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