i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
