Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
